Hello!
How is everyone?
I'm doing pretty well - certainly a lot better than I was last time! (My dad commented that the last blog was quite sad, which is fair enough!)
We come now to the final hurdles of my degree at the University of Reading. (Which is why I'm blogging, rather than working on my dissertation...)
March has been pretty good. I've been quite stressed because of assignments - I had three due in one month!
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| Studying with some pals! |
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| Studying with some more pals! |
And, speaking of outings, I haven't really gone out for drinks with friends much, because everyone has work. I did go out with some friends at the end of term. I tried a vinegar-cordial type drink...spoiler alert, it tasted exactly how you'd expect it to. (I drank the whole thing, impressively. There were 7 of us there; 4 of the others tried a sip and immediately grimaced, the other 2 passed altogether.)
I also went home for a few days, from Sunday to Wednesday. Not because I was ill or anything, just to visit my parents. While I was there, I met up for drinks with another friend, who's also a friend of my parents. It was good to catch up!
I also caught up on my childhood - I dug out the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban video-game (PC version) and replayed it. It was very fun! I played it to 100% completion, which I've never actually done before! Another thing I did was I cooked a traditional Central African Republic dish, called kanda (or, as my sister and I knew it, meatless meatballs.) It was very nice, though it took a while to cook!
I came back to Reading again on Wednesday. I didn't do much for the rest of the week, except for working, and meeting up with some more friends. One of my highlights was going to Cafe Yolk, which is near where I lived last year, for breakfast. It was my first time - and it was definitely worth it! I had a breakfast burger (yes, burger) and Oreo smoothie (the biscuit, not the cat!), and it was delicious!
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| Behold, meatless meatballs! |
The big event this month, though, has been Word Alive. I once again went with my CU, and it was very fun! I travelled to Wales with Josh and two others in the CU, all of whom go to the same church as me, funnily enough. Four hours in a cramped car...debatably fun. Though we did see some others from the CU on the way!
The first evening was pretty good. I enjoyed the talk, and I was actually able to get down some notes! After the talk, pretty much everyone just crashed in bed at about half 10. For Word Alive, that's about two hours early!
Sunday was enjoyable. The highlight was probably playing various games and sports on the beach in the afternoon. I think I over-exerted myself...my legs ached for literally the rest of the week... (I also, at one point, grabbed a cricket bat, went up to a friend and drew a line in the sand, while announcing that I was drawing a line. Inordinately proud of myself for that joke!)
We also celebrated a birthday on Sunday: one of our number had the good luck to have his birthday fall during Word Alive. We decorated the birthday person's chalet with balloons and a Happy Birthday banner, which was fun.
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| Me and my bro Josh! |
Another highlight was silent disco, after the evening main meeting. Well, 'highlight' in the sense that it stands out to me. Silent disco is where you put on headphones and jam out to music that only you can hear. Wasn't too much fun for me - for starters, it's not actually silent in the slightest. In fact, I felt distinctly excluded, because all my friends were having a great time, and I could barely take part. Ended up crying into a friend's shoulder afterwards... (Not ashamed to admit that.) But it stands out to me because of how I reacted. I felt hurt and sad and isolated. I remember how, five years ago, when I dwelled on my isolation...it didn't really hurt, because I was so used to it. I just felt a numb emptiness and the awareness that I should feel something. By comparison, after silent disco, I did feel something. And for all that the silent disco itself wasn't a 100% fun experience, that is definitely a positive - it shows how far I've come in the last five years. (I do also want to clarify that I did have fun at the silent disco, just not as much fun as everyone else did.)
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| The old and new CU Co-Presidents! |
A more positive highlight of the week was beach disco, which happened on Tuesday night. It was just my CU, and we had a lot of fun singing and dancing on the beach. (Well, some people from a non-CU group were invited, but they didn't turn up until 20 minutes before we wrapped things up and headed back to the chalets.) It was quite cold, but very fun. We all got to bed very late that day - I got to sleep at 2 in the morning, and didn't get up until 9.
Something I really enjoyed over the course of the week was getting to spend time with friends. Most of that time was walking to or from meetings and seminars, or playing games outside the chalets - it was lovely! I also met up with some friends from outside the CU. On Tuesday, I met up with some people from Wycliffe Bible Translators who, like me, grew up overseas (two in Senegal, one in Russia). On Wednesday, I saw a friend from Wycliffe Experience 2022 in a seminar (funnily enough, she also grew up abroad!) The seminar itself was quite fun - it was on being an intentionally multicultural church. I felt I got quite a lot out of it, in terms of how to include and welcome people from other cultures.
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| Me and my friend from Experience! |
Overall, I really enjoyed Word Alive - it was a lot of fun! It was really nice to spend time with my friends. I also feel I got quite a lot out of the talks and seminars. One thing in particular that I got out of it was about Jacob wrestling with God in Genesis - how we can't win our battles on our own, we need to rely on God. And, in a way, we need to be worn down before we can accept that help. We physically can't stand on our own - we need others, and especially God. There's no shame in needing help, in relying on others for support. And those who love you want to support you, and they will fight to support you, if they have to. That's something I've learned over the last few years - time and time again, my friends have refused to give up on me, and that means a lot to me. Honestly...it means more than I can express in words. And God's refused to give up on me as well. Having struggled with my faith over the last few years, finally coming to realise that means a lot to me as well - my faith, I feel, is a very important part of my identity.
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| The assembled CU! (I am right at the back, barely visible...) |
But alas, all good things must come to an end. On Thursday, Word Alive ended, and we all headed back home. When I got back to Reading, I stopped off for half an hour to drop off some stuff, then immediately headed to the station to travel to Didcot, where I was picked up by my parents to go to Granny's. Thanks to some traffic, we ended up arriving at around quarter to eleven at night.
The next day, we met up with Great-Aunt Sally and my mum's cousin Emily (and her daughter, Sunnie), for a picnic and a walk on Dartmoor. The walk ended up lasting a good 5 hours (counting an hour-long break for the picnic), and we walked a total of nine kilometres! It was very fun, though a bit tiring as well. Immediately after that, we went round to Great-Aunt Jenny's house for tea and cake, which was also very enjoyable. I got to see Marvin (Jenny's dog), who is quite a sweet dog, despite his bossy personality.
On Saturday, we had another picnic with Sally, this time in her field (she has a small farm, you know), followed by a walk with Sally and Jenny, which was all very fun! It was very nice to catch up with my relatives, and see Tessa, Marvin, and Pippa.
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| Pippa, Tessa and Pippin, along with Emily's dog, Lyra. (Also present are Sally, Granny, and Emily!) |
Sunday was pretty chill. We went to the Easter service in the morning, which was good, and ate roast lamb for lunch, which was very yummy. Other than that, we relaxed, and I tried to work on my dissertation.
On Monday, we went on another walk with Sally and Jenny, followed by Sally coming round to Granny's for lunch and games. It was very fun! After lunch (in actuality around 3), we set off for home...a journey which ended up taking about five hours, because everyone else was also travelling home after Easter weekend. At one point, we drove past a car which was actually on fire! Thankfully, the driver didn't seem to be hurt; they were outside the car, presumably not having a good day. The road ended up getting closed literally right behind us, which meant that we had eerily empty roads pretty much all the way back to Oxford! (At least we didn't end up stuck on the other side of the closure!)
Over the past couple of days, I've been working on my dissertation. At the time of writing, it is almost done! Just a few more edits, some more proof-reading, and the bibliography and printing! A few people I know, both on my course and in different subjects, have already submitted their dissertations, to which I say CONGRATULATIONS!! Others have due dates for the coming weeks, to which I say good luck!!
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| I leave you with this view of a beach at sunset. |
The last couple of months have been busy, and rather stressful. On the whole, though, I'm doing a lot better than I was back in February. I definitely feel like I'm in a better place than I was five years ago. For one, I'm reclaiming my ability to be optimistic, looking on the bright side of life rather than the negatives. It's a work in progress, but it's getting there. I remember a few years ago, I said I'd lost my ability to be optimistic - I'd like to think I'm starting to get that back again. Sometimes I've had backslides, but that's how life is. Sometimes you take steps backwards. Sometimes you take steps forward. But the most important step you can take is always the next one. It doesn't matter where you start, or if you're having to retrace your steps, if you're moving forward, then you are getting somewhere. It's the journey that matters, not the destination.
And what a journey it is! Some of my friends have completed and submitted their dissertations - as I said, congratulations!! Some are about to - good luck to you! People are getting jobs, moving away, getting married, starting new degrees, finding new relationships. Graduating from school, or university, entering adulthood, the whole world opens up, a swirling storm of possibilities. Here, now, is the eye of the storm. The turbulence of final assignments behind us, the fullness of the future ahead. Despite everything that's come, everything that is to come, this moment, on the brink of endings and beginnings, is calm. Electrifying, yet still. Paradoxically calm yet chaotic. Exciting and terrifying, all at once.
To close off, I invite you to reflect on your experiences over the last few months. Life's been difficult, but when isn't it? And, you know, I have things I'm struggling with. Everyone does. At the same time, I'm very proud of myself for the progress I have made over the last few years. And I'm also extremely proud of my friends, especially those I know have been having a difficult time themselves. Reflect for a bit - what are you most proud of yourself for achieving? And what are you most proud of your friends and family for?
Random stats:
-Units of alcohol consumed: IDK, probably about 14-15 across the month?
-Distance travelled over the Easter Holidays: Approximately 1,000 km! That's a lot! (I used to travel that far just to go to a beach!)
-Interesting books read: The Secret History, by Donna Tartt. It was very good! I also read a very interesting blog series on the Battle of Helm's Deep and the Battle of the Pelennor Field from Lord of the Rings, and how accurate they are to how battles of those types would have been fought historically. They're fun, though probably less so if you're not interested in history. I shall link them anyway, in case anyone's interested.
https://acoup.blog/category/collections/the-battle-of-helms-deep/ (Helm's Deep)
https://acoup.blog/category/collections/siege-of-gondor/ (Pelennor Field)
-Longest dog walk: 9 kilometres on Dartmoor. It was fun!
-Days until dissertation deadline: 5 (eep!)
-Assignments remaining: 3 (One essay, two exams)
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